Skank Journal 8-18-11
Dear SEXX journal,
I am really horny now. I haven’t had any pussy for a while and an orc has needs. I’m sure the magus would blow me if I let him, but he’s too fat for me and I’m not a gay like him. That fucker needs to stay out of my tent. He said he was looking for my skooma stash, but I think he just wants some underwear. Sick fuck.
I guess we had to go with the queer pirates because Jari wants to. Maybe we’ll get an Indian and a police officer and a construction worker to round out this increasingly homoerotic adventuring party.
The old man guide is really a wanker. “Sure, I’ll go with you, but first you have to prove yourself by finding a black pearl.” Why? What the fuck does that matter? What does that prove anyway? Why didn’t he sent us to get his viagra prescription filled or grab some milk of magnesia so he can shit again? Why don’t you drag your old bones along and just be glad somebody cares enough about you to come see you and not put you in a medieval rest home? If we can get this old bastard to come along I’m going to fill out the “Do Not Resuscitate” form on the back of his AARP card.
Oh well, I’m going to try not to think about this shit anymore. I’ll just rub one out and get some sleep.