Jari Journal 7-22-11
I’m quite pleased that we’ve managed to begin to work together as a team. I’m itching to go after those cannibals. We can presume, from the information gathered via Pezock and the other clues collected, that defeating them may be no easy task. There is fear somewhere deep inside me, but its importance is dwarfed by enthusiasm. I cannot remember the last time I’ve felt so alive. Well, maybe I can, but I’d rather not write about that time and those feelings. A conversation with Nig about his association with the Aspis Consortium demands actualization. A confrontation of the same order may as well. Can’t I just ignore it? Will not it never have been if I behave as if that were so. Why saw the eyes of my youth so little discrepancy luminance and contrast in this world? You and mother always shone so clear and bright in those days that, basking in the light of innocence, I feared not the shadows I now realize we all cast. I miss you Father. I am lost in this world without you. Just go through the motions. One foot in front of the other. One day at a time. Blah, blah, blah. Living out those rote routines threatened to sap the last of my will. This adventure however, is something completely different. The raw necessity of survival, never knowing what awaits, whether morning will come, revitalizes me. I now see the shadows lurking within the myriad facets of the dancing colors of my life. Indeed, no sleep, nor distraction allows escape. So Father, into the lion’s den I go. Perhaps I join you soon. But I fear that is not to be.